Why you should listen more than you talk

Ben "The Hosk" Hosking
3 min readOct 2, 2020

“Never give reasons for what you think or do until you must. Maybe after a while, a better reason will pop into your head.” General William T. Sherman

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. Robert Greene

The more someone talks the more you learn, the more we talk the more information we give away. Despite this, our inclination is to talk more than we listen. Listening lets us learn more about a situation, gather more information. Talking has the opposite effect, you give more information away.

Shut up and listen

The more people talk, the more points they make, the increased chance of contradicting themselves. The more points you make, the more ammunition you give to people to disagree with you, let them wonder what you think and give yourself room to change your mind.

We waste time by talking about things which aren’t important, focusing on the wrong areas, instead, keep quiet.

You learn by listening

When you speak you don’t learn. When you listen, you might hear extra information, a new idea, feelings or a new perspective. When you listen you learn.

What is the goal?

  • What is the goal of this discussion?
  • What is the motivation of the people?
  • What is being discussed?
  • What problem is being solved
  • What does the other person think?
  • Why do they think that?

When you listen it helps you understand what people think, why they think something and how they feel. Yet before they have time to speak, we are telling them about our ideas on the topic.

You produce better ideas if you explore problems, understand different perspectives, and gather more information before forming ideas. The earlier you speak the…

Ben "The Hosk" Hosking

Technology philosopher | Software dev → Solution architect | Avid reader | Life long learner